There is no doubt that American entertainment has long failed its audience in the intimacy department. Violence, no problem, you’ll probably get a PG-13 rating, but anything beyond a kiss and you’re looking at a hard R. This has often caused intimacy to simply be glossed over on screen, not to mention decades of the male viewpoint has even more so left female desire by the wayside. Luckily, the best television lately has tried to make up for lost time with shows like Insecure, I May Destroy You, and Sex Education. Audiences have finally been given all kinds of sex with a wide-ranging point of view. 

Perhaps the most talked about show where sex is pivotal to plot and character is Normal People. Exploring different kinds of sex is pivotal to Marianne’s (Daisy Edgar-Jones) journey in the show, not to mention the evolution of sex and love for both leads. So how does one even begin to tackle putting intimacy on the page? Here are Five Takeaways from the show that screenwriters can revisit when wanting the steam to emanate from their words. Sidebar: Normal People’s main characters Marianne and Connell (Paul Mescal) are mainly exploring consensual intimacy with each other, unless otherwise noted. Spoilers ahead. 

1. Don’t Rush It. There’s a sex scene in Normal People that lasts nine minutes and 24 seconds—perhaps setting the record for a television show? There’s no doubt taking risks like this and allowing a love scene to just play out is part of what gave the show a cult following. The only scene to rival it in length and intimacy in recent memory is Blue is the Warmest Color, which comes in at 10 minutes. Both are masterfully done, and much credit in Normal People is given to intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien. But ultimately, credit should be due to the writer, Sally Rooney, who birthed the characters both in novel form and on the screen. There is time in this scene for Connell and Marianne to genuinely seduce each other. As the pair sit across from each other in Connell’s impossibly tiny room, they make small talk, building tension until Marianne can’t stand it anymore and asks: “What about now? Now can we take our clothes off?” And they do. Then there’s more time given to drinking each other in, and constantly checking in: “Is that okay?”, “Is that good?” And a normal, consensual sex scene becomes revolutionary television mainly because audiences so rarely get to experience the normality of it all; perhaps because directors didn’t think “normal” was hot, or network television censored things for so long. Thank goodness the sex revolution of “normal” is here, because audiences are apparently beyond hungry for it based on the show’s popularity.

2. Intention Behind the Intimacy. Knowing each character’s intention behind each intimate scene will also help build realism and fully engage both your audience and your characters’ journeys not just in the scene, but in the story as a whole. As with many first loves, Marianne and Connell’s intimacy tends to either set them on a journey towards togetherness or launches them quickly apart. The constant progression and devolution of their intimate relationship often hinges on larger plot and emotional stakes such as physical distance, time apart, other relationships, and professional desires. The stakes of a sex scene should have the same stakes as any other scene in your writing. What does each character want out of the moment? Of themselves? And each other? Knowing the answers to these questions going in will make intimate scenes that much richer. 

3. Don’t Neglect Stage Directions. As writers, sometimes feedback is to keep stage directions short and sweet—or it’s hard to get people to read stage directions anyway. But in an intimate scene, stage directions become essential. Intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien revealed to Vulture that sometimes every actor’s move was spelled out clearly in stage directions, and sometimes the script simply read, “They make love.” If the writer leaves actors, coordinators and directors hanging, obviously choices will be made on their behalf. So, if the intimacy is essential to the plot, your characters, and your moment, don’t be afraid to spell out all the sordid details. O’Brien stressed they’d revisit Rooney’s novel and find more details for every intimate situation there if things were not already on the page. 

4. Build Sexual Tension. Fans of the show undoubtedly know the characters of Marianne and Connell have insane sexual tension, and often the intimate scenes between the two are a joyful release of long, drawn-out, and sometimes even excruciating tension. Writer Rooney does an excellent job of giving both characters secrets throughout the show. Connell’s secret is he is not at all what he seems on the surface, and Marianne carries various secrets throughout: A sordid family history, a tense relationship with her brother, and experimentation with BDSM. But much of what drives the first half of the series is Connell and Marianne’s decision to keep their relationship secret at school. For better or for worse, their intimate relationship is just for them. With a large gap in socio-economic status at home (Marianne comes from money, Connell decidedly does not), and popularity status at school, the young pair decide that no one knowing would make their lives easier. However, as they grow, they learn everyone knew all along. That said, the secret relationship status adds constant fuel to their intimate fire. Car sex in the driveway of your childhood home is that much hotter if you want no one to find out. 

5. Push the Envelope, Or Just Press the Gas on Reality. If intimacy is a cornerstone of your piece, one would think audiences may be seeking something they’ve never seen before. For a time, Marianne’s character experiments with a BDSM relationship on the show. This is largely where the show actually drew the most criticism, particularly from the BDSM community and feminist voices that could not understand the disconnect between a strong female lead and the frequent loss of agency for Marianne in her own story. Making bold choices comes with taking risks, and as always, the writer should question if the risk taken serves the character, or is the risk just shocking for the sake of it? In the case of Normal People, perhaps more character work could be done to clarify Marianne’s complete journey of losing herself and finding her footing again. That said, what remains the most revolutionary thing about the show is the normal part. It’s 2020 and audiences so rarely get to see a healthy sexual relationship on screen that simply by portraying one, Normal People became revolutionary. 

Final Takeaways: While the chemistry of Normal People’s Connell and Marianne is off the charts, putting it on the page can feel intimidating. But if writers simply remember an intimate scene should be handled the same as any other—be clear with character intention, check in with your character arc, know where your character is going and where they’ve been, and never hesitate to spell things out (or take your time) in stage directions—a writer may soon crave the release of writing an intimate scene just as much as watching one.