Nobody likes rejection. It doesn’t feel good. It creates an immediate negative emotional and physical response. A study from the University of Amsterdam found that unexpected social rejection triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which governs our body’s “rest and digest” functions. Unlike the “fight or flight” response, which heightens alertness, rejection causes our heart rate to slow, leading to feelings of disorientation, sadness, and even physical lethargy.

Rejection is not fun and never will be, no matter what the situation. 

However, rejection is also a powerful tool that you can use to become a better you — and a better screenwriter. A not-so-famous and moderately successful pro screenwriter (yours truly) once said, “You have to fail before you can prevail.” It’s a quote that I live by in my career. 

I’ve learned to thrive through rejection. It still sucks, but you can turn it into the necessary motivation to help you become not just a better and stronger screenwriter, but also a better and stronger person. Here we’ll cover how you can handle screenwriting rejection like a pro. But before we do… 

Why Does Rejection Hurt So Bad for Screenwriters?

It’s important to understand how and why you are feeling so down when that rejection comes. When you understand it, you can find ways to prevent it from cutting so deep, so you can get back on that screenwriting horse and persevere. 

Each rejection can feel like a step backward — a reminder of how far you still have to go. 

“I was rejected.” 

The passive phrasing we utter to ourselves in our psyche (and often to friends, family, and peers when sharing the news of rejection) reveals a deeper emotional truth — rejection makes us feel powerless, like victims of forces beyond our control. Rejection hurts because it makes us feel like we’ve failed in the pursuit of our dreams — and that can feel soul-crushing. 

Screenwriting Rejection Is Scientifically Like a Bad Breakup 

Researchers at Stony Brook University discovered during a study on relationship breakups that the same area of our brain that is active the most during emotional breakups is the same area of the brain associated with motivation, reward, and addiction cravings.

When you connect with an industry insider who has requested to read a screenplay of yours, a relationship is created. While romantic feelings and hopes of a successful courtship to marriage aren’t in play, you are creating multiple levels of hope and anticipation for a successful collaboration (relationship). 

When they reject your script, it simulates the experience of a hurtful breakup. The high expectations for the collaboration you had come crashing down. You realize that you became addicted to that collaborative relationship, with high hopes of success, just as we become addicted (hopefully in a healthy manner) to a relationship when we fall in love. When those hopes are taken away, your mind and body shift into withdrawal. You’re rattled. You’re drained. 

It takes a while to get past that. But the great thing to remember is that this response is an inevitable scientific reaction — and it is one that your mind and body will eventually recover from.  

Don’t Worry — Even the Pros Go Through Multiple Rejections   

Make no mistake, it’s not just novice and underdiscovered screenwriters dealing with rejection. It’s every single screenwriter on every level of success within Hollywood —  from those trying to break through the Hollywood walls to those who have and are making millions of dollars as professional screenwriters. 

So, take solace in remembering that you’re not alone, and that even the most successful screenwriters out there face rejection far more than they receive acceptance, validation, recognition, coveted paid contracts, and the thrill of seeing their screenplays come to life on the screen. 

Once you understand that rejection will always be there — no matter how much success you achieve in your screenwriting career — you’ll quickly find yourself adjusting to that truth and not giving so much power to the rejection. In short, you’ll start to see that it’s just an occupational hazard that everyone has to deal with — even the Oscar winners and box office champs. 

5 Stages of Screenwriting Rejection 

Okay, hopefully you’re learning that the more you understand screenwriting rejection, the easier it is to process it. And that’s the key — as an eventual professional screenwriter, you’re going to need to know how to process the rejection quickly, so you can use it to motivate yourself to get past it and conquer the task(s) at hand. 

Before we get to the motivational part, it’s important to know and understand the five stages of screenwriting rejection (DABDA), which mirror the general five stages of grief. 

1. Denial

Denial for screenwriters comes in multiple ways. When you’ve learned you haven’t made the cut of that screenwriting contest or fellowship you entered, you find yourself scanning the list of those who made the cut, almost convinced that you just missed your script title on the list. If you’ve experienced denial by way of a denied query, or outright rejection after a read of your script, it will take a while for the truth to settle in. 

2. Anger

You’ll feel anger and frustration brewing. You’ll want to lash out via email. You may become critical and cynical towards the person or company who rejected you — or towards the Film/TV industry in general. 

3. Bargaining

You may email the contest admin, asking them to reconsider. You may email the industry insider who rejected you, trying to explain your script more and trying to bargain for a way to resubmit a rewrite. 

4. Depression

This is the darkest stage. You’ll question your abilities, your scripts, and your choice of dream to pursue. 

5. Acceptance

You will eventually get past it. The chemical imbalance within your body will even out. You’ll reason with yourself and understand these truths:

• It was the opinion of one person. 
• Maybe it just wasn’t what they were looking for. 
• Perhaps you didn’t send it to the right people. 
• It wouldn’t hurt to look deeper and more objectively at your script to see what they saw from their perspective. 
• You could try to move on to another script and come back to this one. 
• You can use this rejection to fuel you to want to be a better writer. 

Knowing the DABDA stages of screenwriting rejection is vital to getting past these stages with more ease. 

It’s like going into a fight or battle. When you know your opponent and their tendencies, you can vanquish them with greater ease. 

Using Screenwriting Rejection to Motivate Yourself

Motivation is a must for all screenwriters. You’re going to need to find ways to stay motivated. The more motivated you become, the more laser-focused you will be in the pursuit of your screenwriting goals and dreams. 

Get Mad 

I’ll tell you one major truth I’ve learned in my twenty-plus years in the industry — even the best screenwriters and best screenplays are overlooked and rejected by Hollywood. Whether it was the groundbreaking screenplay for Star Wars or the Oscar-winning screenplay for Everything Everywhere All At Once, the best writers and scripts are rejected by multiple places and people before finding themselves at the right place, right time, with the right people, and under the right circumstances. 

If you feel you’re at the point where you’ve leveled-up in your screenwriting and objectively feel like the scripts you’ve written that have been rejected can become successful films, use the rejection to fuel you to work that much harder to get the scripts to the right people. Use the anger from the DABDA stages and funnel it into positive action. 

Look Upon Rejection as an Invaluable Learning Tool

Get excited by the fact that you’ve received a professional reaction to your queries or scripts — a reaction that you can use to educate yourself and evolve as a writer. Information is vital to growing as a screenwriter. 

• Congratulations. You’ve put yourself out there as a screenwriter. 
• Sadly, they didn’t respond to it. 
• Now, use the information you’ve gathered from that rejection (their feedback and notes, if any) to help you plan your next move. 

Again, you have to fail before you can prevail. The screenwriting rejection you receive during your screenwriting journey will.

• Help you to see objective viewpoints of your writing and scripts. 
• Force you to look in the mirror as a screenwriter. 
• Bring you down from the clouds so you can make more level-headed discoveries. 
• Inform you about the wants, needs, likes, and dislikes of the industry. 
• Teach you the industry guidelines and expectations you need to get your scripts bought and produced.

Consider it market research. Companies often use focus groups to gain information on a marketing campaign or product. They use them to gain insight on how consumers think. 

You can learn the same key knowledge from the responses you get from the industry. That, my screenwriting friends, is gold. 

Learn to Love the Rejection

You can choose to hate rejection, you can wallow in the sadness and despair of it, or you can train yourself to smile in its presence. You can smirk at it, shake your head, nod in agreement, and use it to help you get that much closer to our screenwriting dream.  

When You’re a Pro On Contract, There’s No Time to Wallow

Here’s the thing. When you’re on contract as a pro screenwriter, rejection comes in the form of development notes and production draft notes.

• Gone are the “take it or leave it” approaches to feedback. 
• Gone are the days of accepting rejection and moving on to another prospect. 

When you’re on a pro assignment, you need to be collaborative. You need to accept the challenge of rejection (development notes and production draft notes), and address the requests being asked of you. 

The trick I’ve learned is to take the approach of problem-solving the notes given to me. I wrote a draft and handed it in. But I know full well that there will be notes to address after the powers that be read it. Save yourself the heartbreak of believing that your draft will be so good that they won’t have any notes, only to receive multiple pages of notes from them. 

• Notes aren’t feedback. 
• Notes aren’t negotiable. 
• Notes aren’t requests. 
• Writing is also rewriting.

Notes need to be applied. Yes, you can choose some battles. But, in the end, you’re a writer for hire — and the process of making a movie only begins with you and the script. It’s a collaborative medium. 

That is why you need to learn to not give rejection so much power. It’s inevitable. The only control you have over rejection is how you handle it.

Use it as motivation. Use it to drive yourself to be a better screenwriter. Use it to humble yourself and come down from the clouds of excitement. 

You’ve got this!